Memory's And Secrets
by Fullshadow
Summary: When Merlin loses his memory things starts to be unraveled and secrets starts to be told, secrets that shouldn't be. But will Merlin and Arthur accept the secrets that is about to be pulled into the light, or will they deny them?
1. As the light fades

Author's note: Hi there Merlin fans readers, this is just a little something that just popped in my head and won't go away, so I decided to have a little fun with it. Yes I know that I promised 'Northern Winds' or the sequel to 'Two world's together' next, but this one just wouldn't leave me alone. At first it was going to be just a One-Shot now I don't know, I suppose I'm just going to have to see where the characters and the story leads me, hope you all will enjoy. Maybe Merlin/Arthur in later chapters, don't know.

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As the light fades.

Merlin hated hunting, he felt like it wasn't fair for the animals, but like always he was forced to come along. Arthur for some unknown reason felt like it was something that a man had to do, but sometimes it was best not to argue.

There was still a million things he had to do, and he would rather do those things then what he was doing right now. Why did Arthur have to drag him along? He knows Merlin's views on this sort of thing, but he made him come along anyway.

Merlin let out a heavy sigh. 'Must be another way to torture me,' Merlin decided 'that's the only explanation' It was a nice day out at least.

He did however like being in the woods. It was always so calm and peaceful. He felt one with the trees and the ground. To feel the Gentle Wind, and hear birds singing in the trees made him feel at ease. But if he spoke these thoughts Arthur wouldn't understand.

It had been a year sense Morgana vanished, and tempers had been high. The King Uther had been sending guards and nights alike and search for his ward, Arthur accompanied the search parties at times, but the lady Morgana has not been found.

Merlin was still tortured by what he did, and probably always will be. The only one he could unload his burdens was with Gaius, but even he didn't understand the turmoil that was raging inside.

Doing such a thing was almost like fighting against himself, but what's scared him most of all is that he had the resolve to do it, and that he didn't hesitate for a moment.

Not only that but his heart was still aching of his father's death, and the thought perhaps there was another way.

Merlin just wants to forget, forget about the deep sorrow, his destiny.. his.. his magic. At times he wonders if it was better if he never had magic at all, then maybe Arthur would finally accept him, but magic was who he is, but at times the pressure of his destiny was too much for one man to bear.

"Merlin, get your head out of the clouds," said Arthur breaking him out of his thoughts. "and pay attention"

"Sorry" he looked at the prince, and not for the first time something twisted in his heart.

Arthur let out a heavy sigh, and rolled his eyes. "What is it?"

"Nothing" he lied.

"It's not 'nothing' you've been too quiet all day"

"It's because you've been making enough noise for the both of us I feel I have no need to talk"

Arthur narrowed his eyes. "That so?"

"Yeah"

"Come on, out with it, something is obviously bothering you" Arthur persisted.

"There is nothing"

"Well, there is something bothering you"

"You talking?" Merlin murmured.

"I know there is" Arthur continued either choosing to ignore his comment or he didn't hear him."is it Morgana?"

Merlin was silent.

"Come on out with it"

Merlin just stared at him dumbfounded for a moment, not entirely sure how to respond."Careful now sire, it sounds like you generally want to know"

"Shut up!" hissed Arthur.

"You wanting to know how I'm feeling is something new"

"Merlin!"

"This is a whole new side of you I've never seen, and I have to say, I'm quite touched"

"Merlin!" Arthur snapped.

Merlin would have continued but an arrow flying towards them seemed to be more important. He had just gotten Arthur out of the way by pushing him down on the ground just as it flew passed.

When Arthur's back was turned he used his magic, taken care of the man running towards them. A tree root came out of nowhere tripping the man making him fall face down on the ground.

"Ah! How lucky" Arthur exclaimed grinning like a fool as he got to his feet dusting himself off. "The man tripped over his own feet"

Merlin rolled his eyes. 'If you only knew' he thought.

Arthur went to the man who 'tripped over his own feet' Merlin concentrating on him, making sure that nothing goes wrong, that he didn't see the other man coming before it was too late.

The other man pushed him making Merlin hit his head on the tree so hard his teeth clink together.

The last thing he heard was Arthur's frantic shouting for darkness and silence took over completely.

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With love to all.


	2. Lost

Hi there Merlin fans readers my lovely awesome followers, thank you for the lovely review and for following this little story of mine. And I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have so feel free to ask me anything, and as for guest I'll answer you're questions at the end of Chapter's. With all my heart love you and enjoy.

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Lost

It would be a cold day in hell that Arthur would ever admit that he's worried about Merlin, the truth of the matter is that he was, but he wasn't the only one, Gwen Gaius Gwaine and the rest of the knights look just as worried.

It had been three days since Merlin was pushed by a bandit and hit his head hard on a tree, three days since he awoke, three days since Arthur had a decent night's sleep.

And Arthur spend every free moment in Gaius's Chambers just hoping that today was the day Merlin was going to wake up.

Gwaine and Gwen would be keeping an eye over him when he was busy with something else, but Arthur much prefer to stay, but he had other duties to see to, Gwaine Gaius and Gwen swore that they would tell him immediately if there was any changes.

It was a cold wet miserable day, and Arthur felt at a loss what to do, but if it was from not having Merlin by his side or because he was bored out of his mind was hard to tell.

He was in Merlin's Chambers, he had other matters to see to, but something was telling him not to leave this morning.

Gwen came by to see if there was any changes. She stood behind the chair that he currently occupied.

Arthur could tell she was just as concerned as he was.

Her eyes had dark circles underneath them, her face was etched with worry.

He looked at Merlin who had been laying unconscious for four days and four nights now. The worry and concern was quickly turning into panic.

Gaius just came in to check on the injury on the side of Merlin's head where at knocked against the tree.

Relief overflowed when he said there was no infection, but the feeling of relief lasted a short time when Merlin still didn't awake.

Gaius sat on the edge of the bed, his back facing them so he couldn't see the expression on the older man's face, but he has a pretty good idea.

"He'll be fine" said Gwen, either to him or to herself it was hard to squeezed his shoulders "he'll be fine"

Arthur felt. . felt lost, like he didn't know what direction to go, as if Merlin was. . was his guide.

Even Gwen and Gaius seemed to be at a loss what to do with themselves.

"Gaius" said Arthur "is there anything you can do?"

"I'm afraid not" Gaius replied.

"Why?" Asked Gwen, the worry evident in her voice "why won't he wake up?"

Gaius took in a deep breath. "I don't know. There is nothing wrong as far as I can tell"

"Something is" Arthur said quietly.

After another hour or two Gwen and Gaius left leaving Arthur alone with nothing but his thoughts and silence for company.

Soon the sun began to sit, the shadows dancing across the walls, and still Arthur remained where he was.

He's not entirely sure why, but for some reason he has a strong urge to stay where he is. Maybe perhaps it's the reason if the roles was reversed he knew Merlin would be by his side, like he always was.

If Arthur didn't insist on hunting that day and dragging Merlin along with him none of this would have happened. Merlin would do anything to protect him, and he's pretty confident if the roles was reversed he would do the same.

Arthur took the Young mans hand, not entirely sure what he was doing, but he can't sit there and do nothing any longer.

"Merlin" he said quietly "come on Merlin, you have to wake up"

No response, not even a movement or a grown.

"Come on, you have a lot of work to do"

Nothing.

"My Chambers are a mess. My armor needs to be polished. My clothes needs washing. The horses stables needs to be mucked. My boots need to be polished. My sword needs to be sharpened"

Still nothing.

Arthur decided to try a different tactic.

"Fine, it's not that I care you ever wake up, you were the most horrible servant in the entire world, there are plenty of servants out there your not the only one. But your not just a servant, your my friend"

Arthur would never admit it to anyone, but the truth of the matter was, he and Merlin are friends, and he cares a lot about him.

"Come on Merlin! Stop being such a girl and wake up!"

Moment's pass and Arthur was starting to think that his efforts were in vain when Merlin's hand moved beneath his.

Jumping from the chair making it tumble over and fall on the ground he yelled for Gaius.

* * *

Voice's, that he couldn't quite make-out, but they were pretty insistent, though he wished they would just be quiet. His head was killing him.

When his eyes opened he soon discovered that he had a group of people standing above him, looking extremely relieved to see him awake, but he couldn't really say why.

Everything was a little blurry.

"Hey" he said, his throat feeling dry and scratchy, someone handed him a cup of water as someone else helped him sit up in a sitting position. "Thanks" he said after taking a sip.

A few minutes later his eyes finally readjusted and he could see the group of people clearly.

But he didn't. . didn't recognize any of them, but they seemed to know him. Who was he? Who are these people? Where is he? What happened?

For a moment he started to panic, he had no idea who he was.

He looked at the group of people, who was smiling at him.

"Who are you?" He asked "who am I?"


	3. who am I?

Hi there Merlin fans readers my lovely awesome followers, with all my heart Thank you Thank you Thank you for all the lovely reviews, and to all of you who are following this love you with all my heart.

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Who am I?

Nothing seemed like it was real, it seemed like a dream, a nightmare even.

The moment Gwaine heard that Merlin was unconscious when he just so happened to be in the tavern one day nearby Camelot's borders, he immediately rushed to his friend side, exile be damned.

It could just be a rumor, it could be nothing to be worried about, still, his gut was telling him different. But what awaited him when Merlin awoke was not at all what he was expecting.

So he stood there and Merlin's room frozen, unsure what to do. But Arthur seemed to be worried even more.

oOo

Disbelief, that's all Gaius felt in that moment. He looked at the others in the room, all wearing matching expressions on their faces.

Gwen and Gwaine just stared at the warlock, jaws slack, worried evident in their eyes, but the one who may be more concerned than them all was Arthur.

Gaius knew that hell would have to freeze over before he would ever admit it, but he could tell that the prince was extremely worried. Arthur had been here practically day and night, either pacing his Chambers, or asking if there was anything he could do. So yes, Arthur was very very worried, now even more so if that was a possibility.

And so was Gaius, for several reasons.

If Merlin has no memories of them or himself that also includes his magic.

Gaius was deeply concerned about the situation the unknowing warlock had found himself in.

He looked back to Merlin, who looked uncomfortable and a little scared. He wanted to comfort the boy the best he was able, but for the first time he was unsure what to do.

'Oh Merlin' he thought 'how did we find ourselves in this mess?'

oOo

No, no way, Merlin's just goofing around, this was one of his bad jokes, so Arthur thought, but what other explanation would there be.

'Yes' he thought confidently. 'This was just a joke, yes, that's it.' Merlin was getting even with him for him dragging him out hunting when Merlin didn't want to go, Merlin is going to smile that goofy smile of his and all will go back to normal.

Any moment now they are going to return to their old banter, Arthur calling him a useless servant Merlin calling him a prat, yes, all is going to go back to normal.

"Merlin" Gwen said softly "you sure you don't know who we are?"

The young boy shook his head "no"

"Do you know who you are?"

Merlin shook his head again.

"You're Merlin, your name is Merlin" said Gwaine, sitting on the foot of the bed. "I'm Gwaine, the lovely lady is Gwen, and that's Gaius, and that's," he pointed at Arthur, who was still at a loss of what to do. "Is Arthur Pendragon. You honestly don't remember anything?"

"No"

"We're friends" said Gwen "we're your friends. You truly don't remember?" Gwen's voice was pleading.

"No" said Merlin, then he smiled brightly "but you guys seem to know me, so I suppose it's nice to meet you again"

Any moment now, Merlin's going to say that he's kidding, Arthur is sure of it. Arthur glanced at Gaius, who looked just as shocked and surprised as everyone else. But Arthur still didn't believe it, couldn't believe it.

"Alright," the older physician said. "I think it would be best if Merlin got some rest"

"Yes, of course" said Gwen.

"Yes" Gwaine agreed.

Gwen gave him a sympathetic look before following Gwaine out of Merlin's room. Arthur, however, stayed where he was. For some reason Arthur couldn't move. It was like two parts of his brain was arguing, competing which was right and which was wrong.

Merlin, can't be true, it just can't be, his manservant, his. . his friend.

Merlin notice that he was staring at him, he smiled nervously. "So, my name is Merlin?"

"Y- yes" Arthur stumbled "Your name, yes, it's Merlin. You're my manservant as well"

"Oh"

Arthur looked at the confusion and shock flash across his face, and in that instant he realized that this wasn't a joke. Arthur didn't know what else to do, so he left without another word, Gaius close behind as he walked down the corridor.

"Sire" said Gaius "he-"

"This" Arthur cut him off "this can't be- have to be- this can't be real?"

"Sire, what Merlin needs right now is the support of all of us, he needs the support of his friends"

"Merlin!"

"Yes?"

They stopped. He turned to the older man, who was looking at him expectantly.

"Merlin, how- he-"

"What are you trying to say, sire?"

Arthur had no idea what he was trying to say.

The last week has been a disaster, Merlin's memory still hasn't returned, and Arthur was trying not to be irritated and patient, but he's afraid that it's going to shatter like glass at any moment.

Gaius said Merlin was well enough to return to work. But the thing is things were a little awkward. It's almost like he didn't know this young man. So Arthur had decided it was his personal mission to jog his memory, and he would do so at any cost necessary.

oOo

Arthur was in his chambers at his desk going over some documents when Merlin walked in.

The last week had been confusing and exhausting. Arthur Pendragon had been giving him job after job to do, and one thing he was beginning to learn about himself is that his patience was wearing thin.

He had a sneaky suspicion that the Prince was trying to jog his memory.

They must have been good friends before Merlin lost his memory, that was an odd and strange possibility, because right now all he thought of the Prince that he was a prat.

"Ah, Merlin" Arthur walked over and handed him a basket full of clothing. "I need those Washed by tomorrow, and don't forget about polishing my armor, and my Chambers need to be cleaned"

Merlin had about enough.

"Anything else, sire?" Asked Merlin.

"No"

"Prat" he mumbled as he turned.

"what did you say?" Asked Arthur.

He turned back to Arthur, frowning. This situation felt oddly familiar.

He looked at him. For a moment, a fleeting moment he could have swore he remembered this before. It was like something in the back of his mind trying to get his attention, but the next moment the feeling was gone.

"Nothing" he said.

Arthur looked disappointed. "Right"

When Merlin got back to the physician's Chambers the next day he was fuming.

"Merlin" said Gaius "is everything okay?"

"No" Merlin was pacing "Arthur is a prat"

The older man chuckled. "Yes, he can be"

Merlin liked the physician and the man and woman, Gwen and Gwaine, there was something familiar about them, something he thought he almost remembered but not quite, and it frustrated him to no end, it was frustrating knowing something that you know you knew but can't remember.

And he wants to, gods he wanted to remember everything, he can feel it, the memories are there just buried, it was as if something was holding them at bay.

And Arthur piling job after job on him wasn't helping his temper any.

"Why me?" He complained "can Arthur do nothing on his own?"

"Merlin-"

"Can't he see I need time to think?!" He continued, completely ignoring Gaius. "I need time to think! How can I possibly do that if nobody lets me! If it's not Arthur it's you asking me questions every morning and night! I want to remember! I do! But I can't!"

"Merlin" Gaius's voice was almost frantic. Still Merlin ignored him, and continued with his rant.

"Do this Merlin do that Merlin! Polish my armor Merlin! Get me breakfast Merlin! Wash my clothes, twice Merlin! I swear whoever wanted to be a servant to anyone has something wrong with them! Seriously what was I thinking becoming a servant?!"

"Merlin!"

"And to a self-centered righteous Jackass like Arthur nonetheless! Seriously why?! all I want is some time to myself to try to figure out this," he gestured to his head "out! But no! The Prince has me running around doing him stupid things! I swear he would be lost without me for one day! Arthur is a big prat!"

Just then a glass vase that was sitting on the table shattered, making the both of them jump.

Merlin just stared at the broken pieces that lay on the floor. Somehow he knew he did that, but how?

He looked at Gaius, who didn't look at all surprised, in fact he looked as if he was expecting it.

"Merlin" said Gaius quietly "I need to tell you something"

"How did I do that?"

"You have Magic"

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Meriln fan: I'm 25 soon to be 26, and the last time I knew I'm a girl. Lol and I think you meant what was my favorite fanfiction I wrote. Um. . will I really liked Two World's Together, and I'm liking this one a lot too. Thank you for your review and your question.

And let me know if you guys want slash in this story, or if you guys would like I could do two endings one with Arthur and Merlin just friends, and the other one slash. Do please let me know. From the bottom of my heart with love to all.


	4. Within a heart

Hi there Merlin fans readers my lovely awesome followers. Thank you thank you thank you for all the love and for the lovely reviews, they warm my heart. And for all the Merthur fans I had decided to do two endings so that way all my lovely readers are all happy, one for the lovely Merthur fans and one for the fans who like Merlin and Arthur as friends, love you with all my heart. This chapter goes out to all of you, love you.

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Within a heart.

It had been a stressful couple of weeks, Merlin still had no memory but seemed to be moving on nonetheless, realizing that piling work on Merlin wasn't going to bring his memory back, so Arthur had slackened with a heavy workload, slightly.

But he soon decided on a different plan, he was determined to prove that this was all a joke, that his servant losing his memory was all an elaborate way of getting even with him.

Arthur had been making a point to see Merlin every single day just hoping that he would remember something, anything. To his disappointment his memories hadn't returned. Arthur was having trouble believing that his manservant doesn't remember anything, it was hard to believe, he was determined to prove that it was all pretend, or successively bring his Memories Back, one or the other it's a win for Arthur.

During these couple of weeks he was trying to figure out why Merlin's memory loss bothered him, he was reluctant to admit it but it did. Maybe it was the thought that Merlin forgotten everything, all the times that they were in danger, that all this time they had become friends.

But Merlin wasn't acting that way now. Merlin was acting distant, different, almost like he didn't like being around him anymore, for reasons he can't explain that hurt a little.

But it seemed that not everything had changed, they still swan insults at one another, and it made him realize that he missed that old Merlin, the Merlin who was always late, who has and always had been a horrible servant. Unfortunately that too hadn't changed, it seems memory or not Merlin was still Merlin, he was the clumsy always late manservant that he was. And he even gave him advice like he had done in the past.

And even without a memory he was still by his side.

But even though a lot hasn't changed still it bothered Arthur that his manservant, his friend doesn't remember all the time that they spent together, it bothered him that everything could be erased in one day, in a blink of an eye. Arthur was in his Chambers sitting at his desk, lost in his thoughts.

Ever since Merlin had awakened and it became clear that he had no memory of him nor of himself, he feels like there was something missing, almost like he was lost, like a part of him was lost along with Merlin's forgotten memories.

And it was this thought that had been bothering him even more lately. This feeling confused him, and he can't really think of a reason for it.

Yes, he and Merlin are friends, perhaps it is a pain of his friend losing memory of everything, but he had a feeling that this went deeper than that, he doesn't really understand it.

He tried talking about this to Gaius but he found himself tongue tied, so then he went to Gwen, still he found himself unable to talk about this feeling that had been keeping him up for days.

So desperate to discover what this feeling was he even went to talk to his father, that proved unuseful then the other couple of times that he tried to talk about it.

Feeling the familiar frustration in the pit of his stomach, he pushed off from the desk and walked to his window and looked down in the courtyard.

There he saw Merlin and Gwen in deep conversation.

Arthur found himself looking between Gwen and Merlin, as if he was trying to decide something. Frowning he pushed off from the window and walked out of his room.

Perhaps he just need some fresh air, some time to clear his head, yes that's it.

oOo

"You are sure?" Asked Gwen excitedly.

"Yes!" Merlin exclaimed.

Last night Merlin had a strange dream, he dreamt that he and Arthur was having a fight in the village, and that he was using his magic to win, but then he was distracted and lost. It was probably just a dream but it didn't feel like that, it felt more like a memory. When Merlin awoke that morning he immediately told Gaius, but his excitement grew when the older man confirmed that it was no dream.

Then he told Gwen. And her excitement grew when he told her what the dream was about, she too had confirmed it.

"I'm happy for you" she said smiling ear-to-ear "it's not much but it's a start"

"I want to remember" he said "and it seems that I may get my wish"

"I'm glad"

They continued to talk about his newly returned memory as they walked into the castle.

After Gaius told him about his magic and the band in Camelot he had been a nervous wreck, but now at last there was a chance that his memory may be returned to him, it had something to do with his magic, he's sure of it.

That night he woke up in a cold sweat.

The last memory that came to him in a dream was semi pleasant, this one was anything but. He was in a small village, someone named will was shot with an arrow, and- and he-

A pain settled within his heart, it was almost like he was mourning a friend, yes, a friend.

Every night for the next couple of days he was having dreams of his memories, some pleasant, some he would prefer never would have returned to him. He told Gaius everything, every dream he had, every memory that returned to him.

He remembered the first day he and Gaius had met, that he saved Arthur's life and that is how he became his manservant, he remembered meeting Gwen, he remembered being poisoned in Arthur risking his life to get the antidote, he remembered the curse that was placed upon Camelot because Arthur killed the Unicorn, and Arthur was willing to sacrifice his life for his, but some things were still missing, and it felt extremely important, but for some reason those memory's wouldn't obey him, they simply refused to return.

Merlin found himself in the middle of the forest a few days later, something about Arthur and some Knights had to see what's going on. Merlin was only half listening, but it seems like some sort of sorceress or sorcerer was making a mess of things, Revenge because of the laws, that Merlin could understand.

He was lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the prince asking him a question.

"Hey!" Arthur exclaimed tossing the waterskin at him, successfully breaking him out of his train of thought.

"Sorry" he said

"You have been quiet all day"

"Because I feel that you have been talking enough for the both of us, so I decided to remain quiet since it seems like you like to hear the sound of your own voice"

Arthur snorted. "You talked plenty enough for the both of us, well, you did until. ."

"I lost my memory" he finished.

"Yeah" Arthur almost looked sad and disappointed.

Merlin hadn't told The Prince about his returning memories, perhaps he doesn't want to raise his hopes, it was bad enough that they are returning to him in pieces, his memories were scattered, even now he was having flashes, but he couldn't make sense of them.

But with each returning memory flash or not he was starting to feel more like himself, like with each memory that is return to him he feels more and more complete.

He looked at Arthur, who was gazing up at the night sky.

Arthur let out a heavy tired sigh. "You know, memory or not I'm glad you're here" said Arthur.

"Oh? If I didn't know any better I would say you care about me" Merlin teased.

Arthur scoffed "Don't get ahead of yourself, you're still a useless servant"

Merlin noted that he didn't deny it.

"But. . you're here"

"Without a memory" Merlin mumbled.

"Yes, but your still you. The very clumsy simple-minded you"

"I'm confused is that an insult or a compliment"

"Neither. You're still an idiot"

"All part of my charm"

They were silent a moment until Arthur decided to break it "Where do you think she is now?"

When Merlin just gave him a look of confusion Arthur waved him off.

"Nevermind, get some rest, we have a long day tomorrow"

"Right"

Arthur rolled over and settled down for the night, Merlin remained gazeing at the fire.

Who did he mean? Who was she?

Something twisted in the pit of his gut, something that he couldn't quite name, no word seemed fitting to describe the feeling, sorrow, despair, regret, sadness. but why would that feeling come to him so suddenly?

Then a flash of a memory returned to him, it was so sudden it almost knocked him backwards.

A woman, looking at him with such a heartbreaking look that made his heart ache, the look of betrayal in her eyes, then a name, and with that one name the flash's made perfect sense, they knitted together, then he understood this deep feeling of sorrow and pain.

Morgana.

He. . he remembered what he did to her, and he wished that he could forget again.

* * *

With love to you all.


	5. Return

Hi there Merlin fans readers my lovely awesome followers, with all my heart, love you.

* * *

Return.

"Why?" Merlin asked Gaius when he finally got back from the search of the sorcerer that was making a mess of things. It turned out that the sorcerer wanted Revenge on the king for taken away his entire family, and good thing that Merlin was there, because he had to save Arthur's ass, apparently from the memories that had returned to him, it wasn't the first time.

And he had no choice but to use his magic to do so, but thankfully the prince wasn't exactly observant.

The moment he got back in Camelot he came to Gaius's Chambers, and told him everything that he had remembered in the last three days.

Gaius didn't look surprised, in fact he looked both relieved and disappointed.

"You did what you thought was right" said Gaius as he moved to sit beside him "what you did to Morgana, sorry to say it my boy, but it had to be done, if you didn't we all would be dead now"

"But was it the right choice, or was there another way? If it was you Gaius," Merlin looked at him "what would you have done?"

The older man thought a moment "I would have done what was right for the people of Camelot, and that is exactly what you did. I believe if there was another way you of all people would have found it"

Oddly his words were comforting, but it didn't make his heart ache any less, not only for Morgana and what he had done, but for his father as well.

"Arthur doesn't know, about Morgana, nor my father?" He asked.

Gaius shook his head "and I believe it is better that way"

Merlin nodded.

The next few days was both exciting and exhausting. His memories were coming to him in flashes while he was asleep and awake, seems that he was regaining them little by little by each passing day.

He still didn't say a word to Arthur though, and he doesn't really understand why. But he told Gwen and Gwaine everything he remembered, to a point, he left the parts out about his magic, and Morgana.

When he had enough of just remembering bits and pieces he decided to go to the Great dragon to see if he could return his remaining memories.

"I see, I understand why you came to me" said the dragon.

"Can you help me?"

"Yes, for you remembering is important for the future of Albion. Close your eyes young Warlock, and concentrate on your lost forgotten memories"

Merlin did what the dragon instructed.

A moment later he felt the dragons warm breath, then his forgotten memories returned to him all at once.

At first it was a little overwhelming, but then after a little while he felt more like himself and he had in days, then he realized something, a few things actually, but those are the things that will remain buried and the deepest part of his mind.

Opening his eyes he looked at Kilgharrah and bowed slightly."Thank you"

"I do hope all is well" the dragons voice boomed.

"Yes" he smiled "it is, now"

The next day he made his way to Arthur's Chambers to tell him that his memories had returned, when he overheard him talking to himself.

A little more than concerned, he stood at the open door and listened.

"His getting even with me I know it! I can feel it!"

Frowning, Merlin was puzzled and had no idea who he was talking about.

"That simple minded clumsy idiot servant is getting even! Him without a memory is nothing but a faults! Just wait Merlin, i'll make you admit it even if it kills me"

The moment he realized who he was talking about Merlin thought a wicked plan.

Careful not to be heard he snuck from the open door, smiling at himself as he made his way back to Gaius's Chambers.

"Now that sounds like a challenge" he whispered to himself.

* * *

With love to you all.


	6. The name of the game

Hi there to all the lovely Merlin fans, the readers and my lovely awesome followers, with all my heart thank you for all of the wonderful reviews, love you all.

* * *

The name of the game.

Arthur fears that he's going insane, no, he knows he is going insane, and Merlin is the one who is responsible. He had no idea what his manservant is up to but he knows he's definitely up to something, Merlin had been more like himself lately than he has in weeks, though, it appears that he seems to be forgetting more and more things.

First Merlin said that he must have forgotten to clean his Chambers then he forgot to polish his armor, then he was repeatedly asking Arthur's name and where he was, then he said he couldn't remember if Arthur had eaten or not, then he asked where Gaius's Chambers were.

Arthur would be deeply concerned if he didn't know, no he was pretty sure that he was faking it. Why though? that was still the mystery.

Even though his useless of a manservant was most likely faking, he still went to Gaius with his concerns. But what he learned just proved his suspicions even more. Gaius told him that Merlin said that his memories had returned weeks ago, and Gwen and Gwaine had confirmed it, and now Arthur was out for blood.

As he storm down the corridor to his Chambers Arthur's mind was reeling trying to think of ways to get even for Merlin for this latest joke, when he suddenly had a brilliant idea. Can't believe he didn't think of it earlier, it was so simple. If his friend wants to play this game then he'll be more than willing to play, but what Merlin doesn't realize is that he holds all the cards, and he had decided to switch the rules of the game up a bit.

Arthur is going to make Merlin admit that he had been lying this entire time if it's the last thing he'll ever do, even if he goes insane in the process, that is the case then the cost will be more than worth it. When he opened the door to his rooms Merlin was making the bed, something he hadn't done in weeks, Arthur immediately was suspicious of course.

As he stood there watching Merlin that odd feeling had returned. He frowned. What was this feeling? He couldn't think of the right words to describe it, and it's slightly irritated him. When he was finished Merlin moved from the bed to the pile of clothes that he had yet put away and started putting them away

Arthur's frown deepened.

What the hell was going on here? Was Merlin giving up the game? No, the Merlin he knows would never do that, he was a stubborn as Arthur, though he would never admit that out loud.

And still that odd feeling that he couldn't name lingard.

It was- was like something he had never experienced before, it wasn't anger and it wasn't irritation, he didn't know what the hell it was, all he knew is that this odd feeling had been lingering- oh he most desperately wanted it to go away.

When Merlin finished with that task he turned, noticing him standing in the doorway for the first-time practically jumped out of his skin. If Arthur wasn't swept up with his own thoughts he would have laughed at the girly sound Merlin made.

Merlin put a hand to his chest. "Don't do that!" He said after a moment.

Arthur just looked at him.

Merlin frowned "Arthur, are you alright? Why are you just standing there?"

Breaking himself out of his thoughts he pushed that odd feeling down and out of his mind and answered. "I don't need to tell you" he strolled into his room passing Merlin.

"Okay then" Merlin mumbled, and made like he was going to leave.

"Where do you think your going?"

Merlin turned back. "Um. . hu.. Did I forget something again?"

Arthur restrained himself from sighing. Remembering that he had decided to play along with this little game he flashed his manservant a smile "yes, in fact you are forgetting something" he folded his arms across his chest.

"Oh? And. . um. . who are you again?" Merlin asked scratching the back of his head.

Arthur walked to stand in front of Merlin "your worst nightmare" he smirked. "I went to see Gaius today to see why you were forgetting things"

It took everything inside not to bust out laughing from the look on his friend's face. "And it turns out that you're just a simpleton" he patted him on the shoulder before leaving the chambers, smirking to himself.

oOo

Merlin found himself being scolded by Gaius the moment he walked in, though he had a feeling that this was coming.

But whatever the older man said fell on deaf ears. Merlin was trying to think of a way to make Arthur admit that he was trying to get him to admit that he was faking that he had no memory first. So now Arthur had figured out his little game, but Merlin refuses to give up yet. He will make Arthur admit that he was trying to get Merlin to admit that he had been faking that his memories hadn't returned even if it kills him.

"Merlin!" Said Gaius, breaking him out of his thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Yes, i know i should have told Arthur, but I just couldn't resist the game" Merlin guessed, hoping that is what Gaius was talking about because he wasn't listening.

"Arthur knows your memories had returned"

Merlin smiled "but that doesn't change anything"

Gaius apparently decided to leave it alone because he went back to doing whatever it is that he was doing before he walked in.

Arthur don't realize it yet, but he holds all the cards of the game in his hands.

The next morning Merlin and Arthur was so involved in their little game trying to get one another to admit that they knew about the others lie first, that they had barely noticed the knock at Arthur's door. They were only broken out of their little game when the door opened to reveal Sir Leon.

"Prince Arthur, the king requires you in the throne room" said Leon looking between them obviously wondering what was going on.

Merlin was surprised. Sir Leon don't normally come to get Arthur unless it was something extremely important.

Merlin had a bad feeling.

"Of course" said Arthur, their little game forgotten at the moment.

Merlin followed the prince and the Knight quietly as they made their way to the throne room. Something must be happening. If Leon came to get Arthur then whatever is happening can't be good. When they arrived Uthur looked more worried and tired than he had been in months. Ever since Morgana vanished Uthur had been more on edge, everyone in the castle had been walking around him like walking on glass, not wanting to bring the king's wrath down on their heads.

A familiar doll ache returned in Merlin's heart of the thought of Morgana.

"Father" said Arthur "what is-"

"It's Morgana" said Uthur interrupting him stopping his pacing to face them. "There had been sites of a woman that matches Morgana's description"

Merlin's gut twisted. He glanced at Gaius, who seemed to be surprised.

"Then we should go check it out" suggested Arthur.

"No, we can't. The woman had been seen in another kingdom"

"Then allow just a few nights and myself to go"

"No" Said Uthur, surprising everyone in the room. "We can't risk them thinking that Camelot wants to start a war with a neighbored Kingdom, and if they see Camelot Knights than that will surely happen"

"But if it's Morgana!" Arthur's voice started to raise. "Then we should-"

"Enough!" The king shouted "I only told you so you would know-!"

Arthur cut off the king "Then you should have not told me at all if we were not going to do nothing!"

"I want Morgana back as much as you!"

"Then let just me and Merlin go! If she's there we should be-"

"I said no" Uthur growled "and that's final"

Arthur stormed from the room. Merlin caught Gaius's eyes, no words were passed between them, he gave a nod more to Gaius then the king before turning and following Arthur.

Arthur was going, and he knew nothing on this earth could stop him, but he can't go alone.

* * *

With love to you all.


	7. Feelings inside

Hi lovely Merlin fans, readers and my lovely awesome followers, thank you for all of the wonderful reviews. And wow, just wow, you guys are just amazing, when i first started to write fanfiction stories I never thought that I would have this many followers and it's just awesome, with all my heart i love you all.

* * *

Feelings inside.

"Merlin! just stop and think about this!" Gaius exclaimed as Merlin continued to pack. "This will be extremely dangerous, for you both!"

"I have to go, I can't let Arthur go alone!" said Merlin grabbing his spellbook and stuffing it in his carry bag. "Arthur won't stop looking for Morgana, and he can't go alone" he got to his feet. "And it's not like I can talk him out of it, you know how Arthur gets" he walked out of his room and grab some more supplies that they may need.

Who is to say how long this trip is going to last, if it's like all the other missions in the past it's going to take awhile, so he wants to make sure he has everything they would need

It was in the middle of the night and Merlin knew that Arthur was going after Morgana, danger or otherwise, he was just to stubborn to be talked out of it. and besides he knew that it wouldn't do any good.

"I know, but Merlin!" The physician placed a hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at him. "Morgana. . if she's still in this world, then she may. ." Gaius's voice drifted into silence.

Though Merlin didn't need him to continue, he knew what the older physician meant, but it was a risk that he had to take.

Though he couldn't ignore it's a possibility that Morgana may tell Arthur and Uthur that he was the one that poisoned her, if that ever happened he can kiss his head goodbye. A part of him was wishing that his memories never returned, but if Morgana tells Arthur and the king then he would most definitely be executed with or without a memory, so in either case he would be dead, so he doesn't really see why it would matter, either way he looks at it he's a deadman.

"Gaius, if Morgana's there or not it doesn't matter, Arthur, I can't let him go alone, I just can't. If Morgana is there then I have to be by Arthur's side. Please understand."

"I do, but Merlin-"

"Gaius, this is me, everything will be just fine" he gave him a reassuring smile before walking out of his Chambers.

He had snuck out of the castle so many times that he could probably do it in his sleep, who knew that he would be extremely good at it.

Arthur and he had come up with a plan earlier in the day, Merlin would get the supplies that they may need, as Arthur saddled the horses and met him in the woods. Well, Merlin saddled the horses, because after all, Arthur could do nothing on his own.

As Merlin snuck out of the castle that seems like a hundred million time ever since he arrived to Camelot, he thought about telling Arthur the truth. This was no time for games, but the thought of admitting that he was going to give up the game first and letting Arthur think that he had wen made his stomach twist. No, he decided, that can't happen.

When he finally made it outside and made it to the woods, Arthur was where they had decided to meet. And without a moment hesitation they mounted their horses and they were off and out of Camelot.

Four days passed without a problem, Merlin and Arthur had set camp for the night, doing their usual banter. It felt good, doing something normal for a change. At times like this Merlin like's to think that maybe one day Arthur will except the idea of magic, and him.

"Do you think it's her?" Asked Arthur suddenly.

He looked at Arthur, his eyes lit up by the dancing flames.

A feeling that he was trying so desperately to keep at bay scratched at the surface, and finally the dam broke, and the feeling overflowed. Why? Was all he could think as he watched the reflection of the dancing flames In Arthur's eyes, puzzled why this feeling would hit him so hard at this moment. For a moment Merlin forgotten were he was, and that Arthur asked him a question. A dirty sock being thrown at him broke him out of his thoughts.

"You know I feel a tree would give me a better conversation than you" Arthur said sarcastically.

Merlin flashed him a cheeky grin. "Then go talk to one"

He was trying to completely ignore the feeling, but that proved to be difficult.

"What's the matter with you?"

"I forgot my name"

Arthur side exasperated. "Merlin, your name is Merlin"

"Oh, right, and. . you are?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Prince Arthur of Camelot"

"Oh so your not just a prat then but a royal one?"

Arthur smirked "and your a idiot"

"All part of my charm, because, after all, you would be bored if I was any other way"

"Maybe" Arthur emitted, shocking Merlin into silence. "You know, Merlin," he leaned forward, never breaking eye contact "you were the first true friend I ever had"

Merlin said nothing.

Arthur studied him a moment, before sighing and leaning back against the tree. "Nothing?!"

"I don't know-"

"I know your memories had returned Merlin!"

There was hurt and anger Within Arthur's eyes, confused he was about to ask why he would care if Merlin had his memories back or not, when he heard a noise.

He got slowly to his feet. Huffing Arthur got to his feet as well. "Why didn't you tell me that your memories had returned?!" Asked Arthur, but Merlin ignored him.

Something was very very wrong. He felt his magic come to the surface. He and Arthur had crossed into the neighborhood Kingdom two days ago, it was only a matter of time before someone noticed that they were there.

He turned to Arthur, who seemed to notice that something was wrong. Arthur was looking around, his hand rested on the hilt of his sword, prepared to draw it at any moment.

"Arthur" he whispered "think we-" he began before he felt a sharp pain on the back of his head.

He fell to the ground, his vision blurred before darkness took over completely.

* * *

Southernbelle0718: Yes, this is a reveal fic, just wait for it. :-P ;-)

Guest: I'm so glad you're enjoying it, it makes me happy and it warms my heart.

OechsnerC: you're very welcome, glad you're enjoying it.

Corey YoungBlood: cliche yes, but fun.

And all thanks goes to all of you that has been following the story so far, with all my heart love you, with love to you all.


	8. Secret

Hi Merlin fans, readers, my lovely awesome followers, this is the chapter you all had probably been waiting for. So enjoy my lovelies.

* * *

Secret.

When Arthur opened his eyes the first thing he noticed is that he was chained to a dungeon wall, his arms were suspended above him, and it was extremely uncomfortable, the shackles bit into his wrist, the second is that his manservant was unconscious beside him.

For a brief moment he panicked, from his position he couldn't see Merlin breathing, but relaxed when he let out a loud moan.

"Merlin" Arthur whispered urgently, his voice echoing off the walls around them.

A few seconds later his friend's eyes fluttered open, then widened when he realize the predicament that they were in.

Merlin tried to move his arms, like Arthur's was suspended above him by the shackles.

"Oh, this can't be good" Merlin moaned.

"You think?"

"What happened?"

"What do you think what happened?!" Arthur snapped, his level of patience wearing thin. He also noticed that his sword was missing, because why not?! Though, it's not like he can use it with his hands shackled above him anyway.

"Oh no no no no" Merlin exclaimed, trying to get his hands-free, making the chains rattle and echo around the room.

Arthur was taking a back to see the panic on the young man's face. This wasn't the first time that they had been in a situation similar to this, well they were never chained in a dungeon, but similar nonetheless.

He and Merlin had been through a lot, and not once had he saw the look of panic on his manservants face like he was now.

"No" Merlin said, breathless, abandoning the thought of trying to get his hands-free "how am I supposed to get us out of here without me. ." Merlin's eyes widened. "I can't, unless, no, that would be suicide" Merlin said to himself more then Arthur.

He wondered if his friend was finally losing it. Merlin seem to had forgotten that he was there, because now he was talking to himself.

"What if it's the only way, but if it is then. . but. . no. .Gaius would kill me before Arthur or the king would get the chance. ."

Arthur frowned. What the hell was his babbling simple minded clumsy manservant talking about? Whatever it was, it surely couldn't be as bad as the king or himself would kill the manservant over?

"But, it looks like I may not have a choice in the matter. ."

"Merlin, what the hell are you talking about?" Asked Arthur.

His manservant and friend met his gaze. He could see a little hesitation and what was that. . fear? Within his blue eyes. "If there is no other way to get us out of this, I'm afraid I'll have no choice"

"Merlin, if this is about us getting captured and being all your fault, then you should know I'll think about forgiving you"

Merlin scoffed. "I'm not the one to blame here" he mumbled. But Arthur heard it.

"What are you implying?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

Even though it was dark in the cell he could see his manservant clear enough.

"I told you we should have not come, but do you ever listen to me?" fumed Merlin "No! You're just to damn stubborn! Don't listen to the manservant, even though he had saved you're royal ass more times then he can count!" As Merlin spoke his voice raised "you have no idea what I had done for you, what i do for you! I'm always by you're side! Always saving you! Always protecting you!" He was practically shouting now "all the while not telling you who i really am!"

Arthur blinked, more than confused about Merlin's outburst. What did he mean by 'Always saving you! Always protecting you?'

Merlin sighed heavily. "Arthur, there's something I need to tell you" he looked at the floor "I've been lying to you"

"Is this about how you been lying to me that you have no memory?" He asked, choosing not to ask what he meant by what he said.

Merlin side exasperated. "Not at first, I really did lose my memory. But my memories returned a few weeks ago"

"And you failed to tell me this why?"

Merlin smiled sheepishly. "I was trying to get you to admit that you were worried about me, and that you were trying to get me to admit to my lie first"

Arthur scoffed. "I wasn't worried" he lied.

"Then why did you go to Gaius?"

"To see if you really were pretending, and apparently I was right"

"Not at first"

"Right"

"But that wasn't the only thing I had been lying to you about" whispered Merlin.

"Oh" Arthur raised his eyebrows "are you telling me that you're not an idiot?"

"No, just another part of my charm. I'm a sorcerer, Arthur"

Silence followed Merlin's words. Arthur just stared at him in disbelief. Then he began to laugh. Merlin lifted his head and just looked at him.

"Good one Merlin," he took in a calming breath to settle himself "I needed that"

"Arthur-" Merlin began when the dungeon door opened.

A older man with gray at his temples walked in with a couple of guards behind him, his cold blue eyes transfixed to them. By the man's appearance he was obviously the king of this Kingdom, and not only that, the air of confidence that surrounded him. The way he looked at Arthur and Merlin like specks of dirt beneath their feet infuriated him.

Arthur had heard that this King was ruthless, that in his battles he takes no prisoners. King Sarrum looked at them like they were nothing but vermin.

"So" Sarrum sneered "what brings you to my kingdom?"

Merlin just glared at the king, watching his every move like a wolf stalking its prey. "We heard that a woman matching Morgana's description was somewhere around in this Kingdom" he practically growled, surprising Arthur.

"I see" the king thought a moment "you will be executed at dawn, Arthur Pendragon, you and you're friend" with that he turned and left the dungeons.

"Is he trying to start a war?" Asked Merlin.

Arthur side "we need to get out of here"

"Arthur" he met Merlin's gaze "I'm sorry"

He frowned. "For what?"

"For this" he then whispered something that Arthur didn't understand, and with the flash of gold in his eyes he realized that he was speaking the truth.

The shackles unlocked, releasing them. Arthur massaged his wrist as he stared at Merlin in disbelief.

And suddenly he felt a wave of anger wash over him. Merlin, his bumbling, babbling, useless, horrible, simple-minded manservant was a sorcerer, his friend was a sorcerer.

* * *

With love to all.


	9. Not slash

Hi there lovely awesome readers and my lovely followers and to all the Merlin fans. This story has come to the end, and I want to thank all of you for you're lovely reviews and your wonderful support, I love you all. This chapter is not slash for the fans who like Merlin and Arthur just as friends. Both chapters are pretty much the same, but different, one with slash one without. With love.

* * *

Realizations and secrets revealed.

No, this just can't be, this just can't be. Arthur's brain immediately went to denial, he refuses to believe it, he can't believe it, he didn't want to believe it, And the denying thing worked, until he saw Merlin's eyes flash gold, and then the dungeon door open.

For a brief second he couldn't move, it was as if he was frozen in place, he just stared at his manservant, not wanting to believe the truth, not wanting to believe any of this.

But it was right there, the truth was staring him right in the face, and he felt like a fool, his mind burned with questions that he couldn't find the strength to ask aloud. 'How could i not have known? How could i not see it? How could i be so blind? Why didn't i see it sooner? Why was I so blind to the obvious? Why didn't he tell me?!'

Suddenly there was a red hot bubbling anger that settled in the pit of his stomach.

Merlin! Someone he thought as a friend didn't tell him of this secret, 'he should have told me' he thought angrily. 'Why didn't he tell me?! Why would he choose now of all times to tell me?! What am I going to do?!'

Arthur forced himself to meet Merlin's gaze. But what he saw made him feel like he was just kicked in the gut.

Merlin's eyes flashed with the emotions of hurt, disappointment, worry and fear. It made Arthur feel guilty, but the feeling of anger was stronger.

He wanted to demand the answers from his friend, his manservant, from the sorcerer. All at once it hit him, and he knew he could no longer deny the truth that was staring him right in the face. Merlin was a sorcerer, Merlin had been practicing Magic, his friend was a sorcerer.

And the thought that he didn't tell him any of this infuriated him, and it scared him.

Merlin, the man he thought as a friend had been practicing magic this entire time, and he didn't tell him! It felt like a betrayal from someone he trusted most.

Merlin must have saw the anger in his eyes, because his entire look changed from one of worry to fear.

"Arthur" he said so quietly it was almost difficult to hear him "we don't have time for this"

Arthur knew he was right, he hated it, but he was right. He nodded slowly, not trusting his voice to talk.

He followed Merlin out of the dungeons, and watched as the sorcerer used his magic to get them out of there. When they came across a guard, or whoever else saw them, Merlin whispered a enchantment making them fall asleep, then they moved on quickly.

Arthur wonders if he had done this sort of thing before?

As they made their way to safety his mind burned with questions, questions that he could not yet find the strength to ask. Arthur felt betrayed, he was betrayed.

Magic was evil, and Merlin, his friend- someone he thought as a friend practices it. How could he?

Arthur expected it to go wrong, but to his surprise they got out of the castle unscathed, without being seen just us the bells started to ring alerting of their escape.

They wasted no time is they ran to the forest. They must have been running for a half an hour before they finally stopped.

Arthur leaned against the tree for support. His whole body protested, his legs burned, his heart was pounding, his hair clung to his sweaty forehead.

He looked at Merlin who was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands, looking defeated.

Merlin was no fool, he knew the laws against Magic, and so did Arthur.

Then suddenly the interwar began, his mind and heart at war.

Yes, magic was evil, he had experienced it at first hand, but was Merlin? He could have used it to enchant him and even kill him ages ago, but he chose not to, even in the dungeons he chose to save him revealing his secret knowing what it could cost him.

Arthur frowned. 'Why would he do that for me, even knowing the cost?' He thought.

Then a new question came to mind. Why would he be by his side knowing his father's views on magic?

Then at once everything clicked into place. All those times that he walked away without a single injury, all those times that Camelot was in danger but they were somehow victorious, all this time, was it Merlin who had been protecting him in the people of Camelot, his father included?

But magic was evil, but Merlin wasn't, was he? No, yes, Arthur doesn't know. He thought he knew Merlin, it appears that he had been wrong.

oOo

'Stupid stupid stupid' Merlin thought bitterly. 'what was I thinking? Why would I ever think that he would act any differently?'

It wasn't Arthur's fault, he doesn't blame him, he was taught from an early age that magic was evil, and he had only seen the dark side of it, but Merlin hoped one day that he would be the one to show him the light side of magic, and how wonderful and beautiful it could be.

But now he'll never get that chance.

Merlin couldn't look at the prince, because if he did he knew what he would see, he knew that he would see discuss, disappointment and hatred In those eyes, and he just simply couldn't bear it, he couldn't there that would be the last image he would see.

He heard movement, and prepared himself for the worst.

"I should go"

Merlin lifted his head from his hands to look at Arthur, who was looking in the opposite direction they came.

"I should go back to Camelot" Arthur wasn't looking at him, he was taking great lengths not to.

"Arthur-"

"Do as you will" he then turned his back on him and began walking. After a moment Merlin followed.

From then on they mainly traveled in silence, both lost in their thoughts.

Merlin was beginning to think perhaps it was a mistake telling Arthur, if he stopped and thought about it there could have been another way to get them out of there, but he didn't think.

This wasn't the first time his 'magic has been revealed' but Arthur didn't believe it then.

Three days past, and Arthur still hadn't said a word or looked at him.

Merlin expected it. That's why he was surprised on the 4th day he asked him the question that he so desperately didn't want to answer.

He and Arthur camped down for the night, Camelot wasn't far, in fact they were probably be there tomorrow.

Merlin got the fire started, as Arthur sat there watching the dancing flames as soon as they came to life.

"How long?"

Merlin didn't need him to clarify, he knew what that question was about.

He took a moment to settle his pounding heart before he answered. "All my life, I was born with it"

Arthur looked at him for the first time in almost five days."You what?"

Merlin sighed heavily "I was born with magic, and so was Morgana"

Arthur's eyes went wide at this "what's Morgana have to do with this?"

Merlin decided if he was going to die he was going to tell him everything, their destinies, the dragon attacking Camelot, Morgana, his father, he told him everything.

"You poisoned Morgana?"

Merlin looked at him a moment "that's what you chose to think about. Believe me I didn't want to, I had no choice. And it's one of my deepest regrets"

"One side of the coin?"

"Yes"

"The Once and Future King?"

"Again, yes"

"A dragon lord?"

"How many times am i going to have to say yes?"

Merlin much preferred when they weren't talking.

They fell silent. Arthur seemed to be lost in thought, and Merlin decided to leave it that way.

He looked at the fire, and whispered a spell. A dragon formed from the flames then vanished. He looked at Arthur, who didn't look startled as he first thought he would be. In fact he almost looked curious.

"Did you mean what you said back at the dungeons?"

"Yes"

"Have you been protecting me this entire time?" Asked Arthur.

"Yes" he replied immediately without hesitation "it is my destiny and duty to protect you, even more than that I want to" he smirked "even though you can be a royal ass at times, and extremely stubborn. But it doesn't change the fact that you are my friend, it doesn't matter how you see me, I will protect you and serve you until my dying day"

"Why?"

He met Arthur's eyes. "Because, you're my friend, and my Future King"

"And if I decide to turn you into my father?"

Merlin shook his head "it wouldn't matter"

"Why?"

"Because, then I wouldn't have to wash your socks ever again"

Arthur chuckled "I see."

They were silent for a while "why didn't you tell me?" Asked Arthur.

"How could I? I couldn't let the conflict come between you and your father, that's why I kept quiet"

"That's your reason?"

"Yes"

"Did you want to tell me?"

"Yes"

"All this time, and you never once asked anything out of it"

He looked at Arthur "that's not why I do it"

"So, then, are you still an idiot, or was that another lie?"

"It depends, are you still a prat?"

"I am you're friend" Arthur said so quietly that he highly doubt it he was meant to hear it, he decided to pretend he didn't.

The next morning they arrived back in Camelot. Merlin was nervous because he was still unsure what Arthur was going to do about him.

He followed Arthur to the meeting room, where Uthur was waiting for a explanation. And Arthur told him everything, to Merlin's surprise he left his magic out of it, for now.

After the screaming match was said and done, Uthur looked at Arthur, who still remained where he was.

"Anything else?" Asked the king. And Merlin held his breath.

Arthur looked at him for a moment, then shook his head "there is nothing else"

"Then go!"

Arthur left, with Merlin close behind.

He was caught up in his own thoughts that he barely noticed what direction they were headed. Merlin had expected Arthur to tell his father about him, but to his surprise he didn't.

Merlin had to blink to break him out of his own thoughts, then he realized where they were.

He looked at Arthur "Why?" He Asked when Arthur closed the doors to his Chambers. "Why didn't you tell you're father about me?"

"I still might"

But somehow Merlin knew that he wouldn't.

"You have saved my life countless times, giving you to my father be a poor way of repaying you"

Merlin flashed him a cheeky grin "does that mean I have a day off?"

"Not on you're life. Look at the state of my Chambers"

And just like that everything had gone back to normal, in away.

After Arthur excused Merlin, he went to Gaius and told him what happened, and just as he expected, Gaius was angry but more worried then he would ever let on.

"You can't stay in Camelot" Said Gaius after moment.

Merlin expected as much. "I think it's going to be okay"

"You told Arthur you have magic boy! How is that okay?"

"Arthur didn't tell Uthur, and he could have"

"Not yet! Did he give his word that he would keep your secret?"

Merlin thought back realizing that Arthur never said that he would "no"

"You stupid boy!" The older man exclaimed.

"I had no choice Gaius!"

"So, Gaius does know then"

They turned to see Arthur standing there with a amused look on his face, his arms folded across his chest.

"Gaius, give us a moment" he said quietly

Gaius through a worried look at Merlin, before leaving the two boys alone.

For the next few moments was the most terrifying moments of Merlin's life.

oOo

Arthur realized a few things, most important, Merlin wasn't at all evil, and he was born with magic.

This bothered him, if Merlin and Morgana was born with magic how many others were? How many innocent people did his father sentenced to death just because of something that they couldn't control?

It was something he had to come to terms with, and he will, in due time.

But this realization came with a dissolve, when he becomes king he will make sure innocent people won't suffer for something that they cannot control.

And another thing he realized was something that he had been pretending that he didn't know, but now overhearing Merlin and Gaius made him realize it.

Merlin was his friend, and was no enemy to Camelot, he knew that now, It just took him five- six actually, days to realize it.

Though at the moment he was quite amused how the younger boy skormed underneath his gaze.

He allowed this to continue a few more moments before deciding to spare the poor boy. he sighed "you have my word Merlin, your secret is safe with me, until the day I become king"

Merlin's grin was brighter than the sun. it was as if a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders

"But I'm not so quickly to forget that you lied to me about your memory, or your. . magic" he whispered the last word.

Merlin's grin didn't falter "thank you, sire"

Arthur rolled his eyes "and lie to me again and I'll make you clean the whole castle" he smirked "without the use of your. . skill"

"Right"

"And because you lied to me, I have some errands for you"

Merlin's smile faded into a look of horror when he handed him the list that he graciously thought of for his manservant the moment they get back Camelot.

The list fell to the floor when he unfolded it. "I can't do all of this in one day" exclaimed Merlin.

"I'm sure that you would think of something. And Merlin" he leaned forward to whisper in his ear "no using magic, and believe me I would know if you do"

With that, Arthur turned and walked out of the room, leaving a sputtering Merlin behind, and passing a very confused but yet relieved looking Gaius Gwen and Gwaine on the way, all the while smirking at himself.

This may not be as bad as he first thought, he mused as he walked down the corridors.

* * *

With love to you all.


	10. slash

Hi there lovely awesome readers and my lovely followers and to all the Merlin fans. This chapter is slash for all you fans out there that love the thought of Merlin and Arthur together. It's the same as the last one but different. So with love.

* * *

Realizations and secrets revealed.

No, this just can't be, this just can't be. Arthur's brain immediately went to denial, he refuses to believe it, he can't believe it, he didn't want to believe it, And the denying thing worked, until he saw Merlin's eyes flash gold, and then the dungeon door open.

For a brief second he couldn't move, it was as if he was frozen in place, he just stared at his manservant, not wanting to believe the truth, not wanting to believe any of this.

But it was right there, the truth was staring him right in the face, and he felt like a fool, his mind burned with questions that he couldn't find the strength to ask aloud. 'How could i not have known? How could i not see it? How could i be so blind? Why didn't i see it sooner? Why was I so blind to the obvious? Why didn't he tell me?!'

Suddenly there was a red hot bubbling anger that settled in the pit of his stomach.

Merlin! Someone he thought as a friend didn't tell him of this secret, 'he should have told me' he thought angrily. 'Why didn't he tell me?! Why would he choose now of all times to tell me?! What am I going to do?!'

Arthur forced himself to meet Merlin's gaze. But what he saw made him feel like he was just kicked in the gut.

Merlin's eyes flashed with the emotions of hurt, disappointment, worry and fear. It made Arthur feel guilty, but the feeling of anger was stronger.

He wanted to demand the answers from his friend, his manservant, from the sorcerer. All at once it hit him, and he knew he could no longer deny the truth that was staring him right in the face. Merlin was a sorcerer, Merlin had been practicing Magic, his friend was a sorcerer.

And the thought that he didn't tell him any of this infuriated him, and it scared him.

Merlin, the man he thought as a friend had been practicing magic this entire time, and he didn't tell him! It felt like a betrayal from someone he trusted most.

Merlin must have saw the anger in his eyes, because his entire look changed from one of worry to fear.

"Arthur" he said so quietly it was almost difficult to hear him "we don't have time for this"

Arthur knew he was right, he hated it, but he was right. He nodded slowly, not trusting his voice to talk.

He followed Merlin out of the dungeons, and watched as the sorcerer used his magic to get them out of there. When they came across a guard, or whoever else saw them, Merlin whispered a enchantment making them fall asleep, then they moved on quickly.

Arthur wonders if he had done this sort of thing before?

As they made their way to safety his mind burned with questions, questions that he could not yet find the strength to ask. Arthur felt betrayed, he was betrayed.

Magic was evil, and Merlin, his friend- someone he thought as a friend practices it. How could he?

Arthur expected it to go wrong, but to his surprise they got out of the castle unscathed, without being seen just us the bells started to ring alerting of their escape.

They wasted no time is they ran to the forest. They must have been running for a half an hour before they finally stopped.

Arthur leaned against the tree for support. His whole body protested, his legs burned, his heart was pounding, his hair clung to his sweaty forehead.

He looked at Merlin who was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands, looking defeated.

Merlin was no fool, he knew the laws against Magic, and so did Arthur.

Then suddenly the interwar began, his mind and heart at war.

Yes, magic was evil, he had experienced it at first hand, but was Merlin? He could have used it to enchant him and even kill him ages ago, but he chose not to, even in the dungeons he chose to save him revealing his secret knowing what it could cost him.

Arthur frowned. 'Why would he do that for me, even knowing the cost?' He thought.

Then a new question came to mind. Why would he be by his side knowing his father's views on magic?

Then at once everything clicked into place. All those times that he walked away without a single injury, all those times that Camelot was in danger but they were somehow victorious, all this time, was it Merlin who had been protecting him in the people of Camelot, his father included?

But magic was evil, but Merlin wasn't, was he? No, yes, Arthur doesn't know. He thought he knew Merlin, it appears that he had been wrong.

oOo

'Stupid stupid stupid' Merlin thought bitterly. 'what was I thinking? Why would I ever think that he would act any differently?'

It wasn't Arthur's fault, he doesn't blame him, he was taught from an early age that magic was evil, and he had only seen the dark side of it, but Merlin hoped one day that he would be the one to show him the light side of magic, and how wonderful and beautiful it could be.

But now he'll never get that chance.

Merlin couldn't look at the prince, because if he did he knew what he would see, he knew that he would see discuss, disappointment and hatred In those eyes, and he just simply couldn't bear it, he couldn't there that would be the last image he would see.

He heard movement, and prepared himself for the worst.

"I should go"

Merlin lifted his head from his hands to look at Arthur, who was looking in the opposite direction they came.

"I should go back to Camelot" Arthur wasn't looking at him, he was taking great lengths not to.

"Arthur-"

"Do as you will" he then turned his back on him and began walking. After a moment Merlin followed.

From then on they mainly traveled in silence, both lost in their thoughts.

Merlin was beginning to think perhaps it was a mistake telling Arthur, if he stopped and thought about it there could have been another way to get them out of there, but he didn't think.

This wasn't the first time his 'magic has been revealed' but Arthur didn't believe it then.

Three days past, and Arthur still hadn't said a word or looked at him.

Merlin expected it. That's why he was surprised on the 4th day he asked him the question that he so desperately didn't want to answer.

He and Arthur camped down for the night, Camelot wasn't far, in fact they were probably be there tomorrow.

Merlin got the fire started, as Arthur sat there watching the dancing flames as soon as they came to life.

"How long?"

Merlin didn't need him to clarify, he knew what that question was about.

He took a moment to settle his pounding heart before he answered. "All my life, I was born with it"

Arthur looked at him for the first time in almost five days."You what?"

Merlin sighed heavily "I was born with magic, and so was Morgana"

Arthur's eyes went wide at this "what's Morgana have to do with this?"

Merlin decided if he was going to die he was going to tell him everything, their destinies, the dragon attacking Camelot, Morgana, his father, he told him everything.

"You poisoned Morgana?"

Merlin looked at him a moment "that's what you chose to think about. Believe me I didn't want to, I had no choice. And it's one of my deepest regrets"

"One side of the coin?"

"Yes"

"The Once and Future King?"

"Again, yes"

"A dragon lord?"

"How many times am i going to have to say yes?"

Merlin much preferred when they weren't talking.

They fell silent. Arthur seemed to be lost in thought, and Merlin decided to leave it that way.

He looked at the fire, and whispered a spell. A dragon formed from the flames then vanished. He looked at Arthur, who didn't look startled as he first thought he would be. In fact he almost looked curious.

"Did you mean what you said back at the dungeons?"

"Yes"

"Have you been protecting me this entire time?" Asked Arthur.

"Yes" he replied immediately without hesitation "it is my destiny and duty to protect you, even more than that I want to" he smirked "even though you can be a royal ass at times, and extremely stubborn. But it doesn't change the fact that you are my friend, it doesn't matter how you see me, I will protect you and serve you until my dying day"

"Why?"

He met Arthur's eyes. "Because, you're my friend, and my Future King"

"And if I decide to turn you into my father?"

Merlin shook his head "it wouldn't matter"

"Why?"

"Because, then I wouldn't have to wash your socks ever again"

Arthur chuckled "I see."

They were silent for a while "why didn't you tell me?" Asked Arthur.

"How could I? I couldn't let the conflict come between you and your father, that's why I kept quiet"

"That's your reason?"

"Yes"

"Did you want to tell me?"

"Yes"

"All this time, and you never once asked anything out of it"

He looked at Arthur "that's not why I do it"

"So, then, are you still an idiot, or was that another lie?"

"It depends, are you still a prat?"

"I am you're friend" Arthur said so quietly that he highly doubt it he was meant to hear it, he decided to pretend he didn't.

The next morning they arrived back in Camelot. Merlin was nervous because he was still unsure what Arthur was going to do about him.

He followed Arthur to the meeting room, where Uthur was waiting for a explanation. And Arthur told him everything, to Merlin's surprise he left his magic out of it, for now.

After the screaming match was said and done, Uthur looked at Arthur, who still remained where he was.

"Anything else?" Asked the king. And Merlin held his breath.

Arthur looked at him for a moment, then shook his head "there is nothing else"

"Then go!"

Arthur left, with Merlin close behind.

He was caught up in his own thoughts that he barely noticed what direction they were headed. Merlin had expected Arthur to tell his father about him, but to his surprise he didn't.

Merlin had to blink to break him out of his own thoughts, then he realized where they were.

He looked at Arthur "Why?" He Asked when Arthur closed the doors to his Chambers. "Why didn't you tell you're father about me?"

"I still might"

But somehow Merlin knew that he wouldn't.

"You have saved my life countless times, giving you to my father be a poor way of repaying you"

Merlin flashed him a cheeky grin "does that mean I have a day off?"

"Not on you're life. Look at the state of my Chambers"

And just like that everything had gone back to normal, in away.

After Arthur excused Merlin, he went to Gaius and told him what happened, and just as he expected, Gaius was angry but more worried then he would ever let on.

"You can't stay in Camelot" Said Gaius after moment.

Merlin expected as much. "I think it's going to be okay"

"You told Arthur you have magic boy! How is that okay?"

"Arthur didn't tell Uthur, and he could have"

"Not yet! Did he give his word that he would keep your secret?"

Merlin thought back realizing that Arthur never said that he would "no"

"You stupid boy!" The older man exclaimed.

"I had no choice Gaius!"

"So, Gaius does know then"

They turned to see Arthur standing there with a amused look on his face, his arms folded across his chest.

"Gaius, give us a moment" he said quietly

Gaius through a worried look at Merlin, before leaving the two boys alone.

For the next few moments was the most terrifying moments of Merlin's life.

oOo

Arthur realized a few things, most important, Merlin wasn't at all evil, and he was born with magic.

This bothered him, if Merlin and Morgana was born with magic how many others were? How many innocent people did his father sentenced to death just because of something that they couldn't control?

It was something he had to come to terms with, and he will, in due time.

But this realization came with a dissolve, when he becomes king he will make sure innocent people won't suffer for something that they cannot control.

And another thing he realized was something that he had been pretending that he didn't know, but now overhearing Merlin and Gaius made him realize it.

Merlin was his friend, no, more then that, and was no enemy to Camelot, he knew that now, It just took him five- six actually, days to realize it.

Though at the moment he was quite amused how the younger boy skormed underneath his gaze.

He allowed this to continue a few more moments before deciding to spare the poor boy. he sighed "you have my word Merlin, your secret is safe with me, until the day I become king"

Merlin's grin was brighter than the sun. it was as if a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders

"But I'm not so quickly to forget that you lied to me about your memory, or your. . magic" he whispered the last word.

Merlin's grin didn't falter "thank you, sire"

Arthur rolled his eyes "and lie to me again and I'll make you clean the whole castle" he smirked "without the use of your. . skill"

"Right"

"And one other thing" he walked to stand in front of Merlin, and before his nerves got the best of him, he leaned forward and kissed Merlin's lips softly.

It came as a surprise when he finally realized what this feeling was, and he was no longer afraid of it.

Merlin returned the kiss after a moment. When he pulled back, he smirked "and that's not all"

"No?" Asked Merlin, frowning slightly, but then smiled.

"Because you lied to me, I have some errands for you"

Merlin's smile faded into a look of horror when he handed him the list that he graciously thought of for his manservant the moment they got back to Camelot.

The list fell to the floor when he unfolded it. "I can't do all of this in one day" exclaimed Merlin.

"I'm sure that you would think of something. And Merlin" he leaned forward to whisper in his ear "no using magic, and believe me I would know if you do"

Arthur kissed him again before he could protest, he then turned and walked out of the room, leaving a sputtering Merlin behind, and passing a very confused but yet relieved looking Gaius Gwen and Gwaine on the way, all the while smirking at himself.

This may not be as bad as he first thought, he mused as he walked down the corridor.

* * *

Meriln fan: yes I do write original stories as Fall Storm on fictionpress. And I love Arthur's Mysterious Reappearing Shirt Pause For Thought Love Conquers All and the The Secret Kingdom and more.

With love to you all, and until next time.


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